As part of my package of New Years resolutions to follow for the year, one important task of mine is to begin blogging again. I've become lazy with it and have taken quite a bit of time off, but this blog now has it's second wind for friends and family members, especially those who are out of town and don't get to see Logan on a daily basis.
Today's blog isn't necessarily about Logan, as far as something funny he did or said today, but rather about the essence of him in general. There's not a day that goes by where I don't feel blessed to have received Logan as my child, but two particular events that have recently taken place have put into perspective how important living in the now is, and how I take life far too much for granted.
My sister-in-law gave me My Sister's Keeper to read over the holidays, and I found it to be such an amazing novel. For those who have not read it, please do so. I laughed, I cried, and I fell in love with all the characters. I won't give away the ending, but I will say that the book taught me a valuable lesson about life and living. I have taken too much for granted the idea that I will still be alive tomorrow or that my family members will be safe and nothing unexpected could ever happento them. This novel snapped me out of my superman complex and has motivated me to live like it's my last day alive. I realized that life does not turn out like we would all hope and plan, and though our life may be leading us in one direction, a shift in that journey can happen unexpectedly that is permanent. As a parent, is has also sadly taught me that it is not a guarantee that Logan will live a long and healthy life that will far surpass mine. It is a scary thought that nobody likes to imagine ever happening to them or their children. I have always cherished everyday that I am graced with Logan's presence, but in times where I am stressed and have a deadline or important assignment, I do take for granted the idea that Logan will be there tomorrow or the next day. I've come to realize the importance of living in the moment, and recognizng that uncontrollable events can happen. Something simple, but yet so meaningful, that I've changed in my life is letting friends and family know I love them after every conversation or randomly through the day, because not only might they never get the change to hear it from me again, but they might not be around to hear me say it to them again.
Something that really affected me was hearing about the sudden death of Jett Travolta. My heart goes out to the family, because as a parent and a sister I can't even imagine what it would be like to lose my son, or in the case of Ella, to lose a sibling. Jett's death, from what I have read, was due to a head injury that resulted from that seizure he was having in a bathroom. This wasn't a terminal illness that Jett had in which the Travolta's were aware of. It wasn't something they could plan for or see coming. They woke up like it was any day, unaware that by the end of the day they would no longer see their son drive a car, graduate from highschool, become a dad or even hear an "I love you too" from him ever again.
I am very lucky. Logan is an amazing child who is completely healthy and happy. He is developing well and he is always in such a good mood. I have been inspired to remember each day, regardless of the temper tantrums he'll try to throw or the stubborn attitude that he might grow to have, that he is a gift that is to never be taken for granted. I'm so lucky to already been graced with his presence for 21 months, and I only hope that I can watch him grow up into a young man and see his dreams come true. If there's anything I want to stress, it's that every parent remember that tomorrow is not a guarantee. We may never get to tell our children how much we love them and how much they mean to us. Never let a negative comment be the last thing you might ever say to someone. Never hold grudges, because that's just wasted time we will never have again with a person we love. Remember that "yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That's why it is called the present."